Tribute to my Grandfather

Tribute to my Grandfather

I’ve dedicated this past week to pay homage to a remarkable soul, my maternal grandfather, Johann Peter Hausner. From Dia de los Muertos, to his 125th birthday on November 8 (shared with Brie, a gift from him, I believe), to Veteran’s Day – there’s a lot of reasons to honor this brave man.

Grandpa Johnny served in both WWI and WWII as a pilot, trainer, and translator. He was a 17-year-old boy when he joined – lying about his age so he could serve. Fluent in at least seven languages, he helped coordinate and train troops across Europe.

Our roots trace back to hardworking Prussian immigrants who came through Ellis Island in 1905 and homesteaded in Gallup, NM. My great-grandparents, resilient farmers, persevered against the odds. Amidst the dry, hot, red-rock terrain, my grandfather, found kinship with the Navajo people, immersing himself in their culture and becoming a custodian of their traditions.

Post war, Grandpa Johnny returned to New Mexico, where met my grandmother, Kathryn Janet Wolf. They had my mom in 1947. He remained true to his passion, intrinsically linked to local culture, he opened The Turquoise Trading Post just north of Santa Fe where he shared the art and stories of the indigenous people.

This photograph captures me and my grandfather on my third birthday, a brief yet impactful intersection of our lives. Sadly, Grandpa Johnny passed in December of that same year, just a few months after welcoming my brother into the world. My memories, though rare, are vivid and poignant – a testament to the safety and kindness he exuded, leaving an indelible mark on my soul.

Over the years, I’ve yearned for the untold stories, the chronicles of his childhood on the reservation, the years he spent in service, and the tales of Native American art and culture that he loved.

Our connection remains potent, a spiritual teacher transcending time and space. I feel his benevolent gaze, a steadfast guardian guiding and enveloping me in a wrapper of love from the ethers.

Thank you, Grandpa Johnny, for your service to our country and your gifts to our family.

Grief and Strength Intertwined

Grief and Strength Intertwined

I sat with my grief
in the midst of a busy work day
while crafting emails for an upcoming event
when I noticed an uncomfortable presence making its way
through my digestive system.

A feeling I used to push away – allowing it to writhe through me
like an unwelcome family member who continues
to remind me of the time grandma died at Christmas
so instead of Christmas we had a funeral.

Activating nausea and emotions in me
ranging from deep sadness to enormous regret
I chose not to ignore but to say hello
I recognize you and took a deep breath
while brilliantly writing the proof points
for this must-see event.

In the past, I’d ignore, resist, persistently
insisting I was Ok – I’m fine I’d say –
not daring to admit that any shift to
the right or the left would send me
crumpled into a trembling ball of pain.

Now I can reverently sit with my grief
letting it take space in my day
as I gallantly perform my civil duty to inform
like a cosmic general assigned to uphold
and protect this most precious gift
with honor and respect.

Aware of what was once solid is
formatting into goo, uncoiling within me
slowly making its way
to the mothership, I salute the release
ready for composting in her infinite grace.

As I continue to focus on writing emails,
one by one they flow
each a message more profound
directed towards a deeper truth.

In the embrace of sacred contracts,
we’re no longer the same
writing our stories, the horrors of humanity we mourn
making waves in this world where emotions collide
grief and strength intertwined; sovereignty is born.


One Big Family

One Big Family

One Big Family 1

An omnipotent umbrella structure to modern life on planet earth

Toxic tentacles permeating every ounce of our consciousness

Like a thick coat of tar

Whether we are aware or not

Entangled, enmeshed, immersed

Devastating destroyer of family

And all that is sacred

Like a tapeworm in our brains,

to the core of our very being

the messages loop on auto play

Beliefs, trauma patterns, and DNA

Bring Manipulation, deceit, and greed

Jealousy, vengeance, and hate

All created from fear to keep us “safe”

They hold us hostage to the toxicity

Until we find the bravery, courage and will to face our destiny

through opening our hearts to the

fragile and deep dark places

So painful we medicate to escape

Until we’re guided by those that pour

A heaping behemoth dose of unconditional love into the sore

Miraculously illuminating the way

Our inner orca breeches

Out of the blinding, pitch black waters

Choosing life over death in physical form

Yet a thousand deaths lead us

To being reborn

In this very moment

Finally understanding that the entire patriarchal paradigm is fake

Based on betrayal and lies

with real consequences

Created to divide the human race

On the premise that all are not equal

Deserving of grace

It’s time dear ones to break the tape

that drives this story of annihilation

Take a breath, a pause and ask yourself

Is this this how I want to live

This one precious life of mine

What can I do to heal, change and shift

This ubiquitous paradigm that’s leading

Our world down like a sinking ship

Love, kindness, inclusion, and joy

Sharing , receiving and reciprocity

Value, Honor, and respect

Plus appreciation and gratitude

Are our greatest protection

Against the suppression

It only takes a moment to shift the trajectory

Inviting and allowing the

full expression of our divinity

For all the world to see

There is another way to say-to do – to be

We are one big family


In a Secret Hawaiian Bay

In a Secret Hawaiian Bay

In a secret Hawaiian bay, covered in lava rocks
Ancients gathered, in sacred ritual and ceremony,
Honoring every flower, tree, leaf, sprig and grain of sand,
Recognizing the beauty in this divine land.

With faith, humanity’s spirit is restored,
And second, third, and fourth chances given,
Lessons taught by the relinquishment of possessions,
For nothing is lost, only gained in our journey.

In the innate knowing of our wholeness and holiness,
We find belonging in brother and sisterhood,
Compassion, the guiding force that unites us all,
With broken hearts healed, purpose is found.

As masters of love, we embrace,
Beacons of hope, spreading light wherever it desires,
With reverence, honor, gratitude, and pleasure,
We commit to a life of service each passing day.

May we become a pure vessel for the divine feminine,
Nurturing, caring, sharing, and modeling,
Using our gifts with bravery and courage
To heal the wounds that break us apart.

So we can all be sovereign, reigning over our lives,
Aware of the divine tapestry we weave,
Unified, may we value this precious existence
And know that we are infinitely blessed.


The Rise of the Sea Goddess

The Rise of the Sea Goddess

The Rise of the Sea GoddessLooking out to the infinite horizon she covers mother earth in deep shades of blues, greens and turquoise reflecting the almighty father sun. She is the Goddess VaDah….a symphony of stillness, annihilation and everything in between. When she’s hungry she devours the shores climbing the rocks and cliffs with a wide open mouth like a snake feeding on its kill. Her energy moves in swirls of white pools, angry and aggressive above the surface then diving underneath with the grace of a ballerina forming patterns of hearts as she contracts and expands. She baths, feeds and shelters an ecosystem of life going back to the beginning of no beginning. She effortlessly cradles creatures weighing 200 tons and those as small 20 nanometers…she loves them all unconditionally.

An underworld rich with buried treasures, sunken ships and ancient ruins she offers endless exploration. Predators and prey play a game of hide and seek in her crevices. Without her there is no life…yet none are immortal. As calmly and peacefully as she co-exists among all of life…when provoked she devours entire civilizations as her infinite being rises hundreds of feet into the sky to consume whatever stands in her way. Her power marries with the gale-force winds and rain draining and sucking the dark forces into her belly. She gives generously only after abundantly consuming and receiving what’s required for herself.